Jeffrey A. Leach | May 16, 2025
This year, I watched the Fairfax County budget process closely and even participated in public and private hearings. Then, on May 13, I watched the nine Democrat Supervisors of Fairfax County vote to approve yet another tax increase. Here’s what they taught me.
First, never underestimate the power of learned helplessness, which Charlotte Nickerson defines as “a passive resignation produced by repeated exposure to negative events that are perceived to be unavoidable.” As a bureaucrat, demand larger amounts of money each year for costs that are so necessary that without them your jurisdiction would sink to the level of the most backward county in Alabama. This will lull most of your marks into a habit of dull acceptance as they work longer and harder to fill your coffers.
Second, make sure that your gravy train can always hide under the aegis of some good endeavor. This may be either projects based on feel-good buzzwords with no substantive deliverables (such as “diversity, equity, and inclusion”) or whatever groupthink hysteria is currently in fashion (such as the “climate crisis,” “pandemic,” or “losing our democracy”). However, since people are fickle and fads come and go, it’s best to focus on oldies but goodies with wide appeal, such as “education” (whether learning is actually happening or not). Who but selfish louts could possibly criticize even the craziest overspending when it’s for a good cause?
Third, imply that factors inevitably lead to a tax hike, even if they don’t. Like the loaded question, “Have you stopped beating your wife?,” it’s best to assume the premise and move forward without stating it outright. Explicit claims invite scrutiny from busybodies, which should be avoided at all costs.
For example, if your jurisdiction (say, Fairfax County) bases taxes on property values, then simply pretend the relevant laws require that when home values rise, then taxes must necessarily rise as well—even though they do no such thing. Who’s going to bother looking at the law and calling you on it? Hardly anyone, if Fairfax County’s history is any indication.
Fourth, before passing an actual tax increase, be sure to first advertise a potential increase that is higher than the number you intend to pass (see “sandbagging”). Later, when you “come down” a quarter of a penny to the number that you had set your mind on before the whole charade began, you can claim hero status while still getting more tax money after applying your lowered rate against the 6.17% higher assessed home value. Brilliant, I know.
Fifth, hold public hearings at which you pretend to listen to the concerns of all stakeholders. This will create the illusion that you have judiciously given fair and equal consideration both to your political allies, such as teachers’ unions (whom you are, of course, obliged to pay off now for their votes), and those annoying taxpayers—the human ATM machines who are actually funding the whole enterprise.
Sixth, avoid answering questions that could lead to demands for accountability regarding financial stability. Many hands are eager to seize their share of the booty. Don’t disappoint them with a sudden bout of transparency.
Seventh, ignore any reasonable, workable proposals based on empirically-verifiable facts if those proposals substantially decrease the amount of money needed to fund the gravy train. You may be tempted to engage such proposals. Resist the temptation—there is always the danger that this will lead to cuts, and, as Fairfax County Supervisor Dalia Palchik has so wisely observed, “We cannot cut our way to excellence” (although county schools can certainly overspend their way to plummeting test scores and moral rot, as they have proven).
Eighth, when announcing the increase, misdirect attention to other parties on whom you lay blame for the costs rather than your own record of gross fiscal mismanagement. Like the devil and homework-eating dogs, President Trump is a time-honored depository for unwanted blame. With loud and indignant protestations, pretend that you are spending $2 billion more on failing schools than those same schools required in 1985 to deliver better results not because you are incompetent fiscal managers but rather because That Evil Man of Chaos is wreaking absolute havoc by cutting fraud, waste, and abuse from federal spending while negotiating better trade deals around the world.
Ninth, when you have finished picking the pockets of your targets, reassure them that you have done A Very Good Thing—indeed, The Best Thing that anyone as just and intelligent and compassionate as yourself could possibly have done. This will invite your marks to thank you for picking their pockets, which is a delicious icing on this tasty dessert.
Finally, repeat the process next year. A good scam works once, but a great scam works repeatedly.
Jeffrey A. Leach has worked in business and law for over 30 years. A member of the bars of VA and DC, he is a principal of Nomos Legal Consulting, PLLC.
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